


Strange Thing Called Life

by kpOpChaNg



Category: Haikyuu!!, Hit the Floor (TV), How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Blind Character, Child Neglect, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpOpChaNg/pseuds/kpOpChaNg
Summary: Zero has always said that he doesn't do relationship so, why should this time be any different?





	Strange Thing Called Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I am new to Jude/Zero fandom and the lack of fanfics made me post this jibberish work. I actually reused this fanfic I wrote for a kpop otp but I changed a few things here and there. I have included characters from htgawm and haikyuu!! because it seemed logical to me at 1:00 am in the morning right now.

When Zero first enters the job he is told he can do whatever he needs to get the job done. However, there is only one exception.

_Whatever you do, don’t ever fall in love with the targets._

Zero just scoffs and assures his new boss that the word love isn’t even in his vocabulary and that he doesn’t do relationships. Despite that his boss doesn’t look impressed and simply dismisses him reminding of that one exception again. As he is being shown around the hideout by someone called Connor, he asks what is stuck in their boss’s arse to be this persistent about the rule.

“I heard that he used to be the best of the best. He never got distracted from his missions until he befriended this guy he was meant to kill. The guy was an illegitimate child of an upcoming politician who contacted his boss for the job. It went well at first but shit happened and boss kept stalling the job with stupid excuses so, the politician got frustrated and threatened to expose the gang if boss didn’t do his job. But boss wouldn’t kill the guy so his boss made someone finish the job. Boss went all crazy and went to the police exposing the gang and all the killings they had done. Everyone went to jail. Someone got them released on bail though everyone suspects it was the politician dude. Anyway after getting released boss cut ties with his old gang and started this organisation.”

Zero remains quiet before saying that their boss is a fucking idiot if he let his feelings get into his job and for thinking that his men are weak like he was.

“Boss cares for us so, that’s why he is saying this. You don’t know just how many idiots in the organisation have screwed and almost ruined everything. The guy you are replacing from today shot himself because he couldn’t assassin the girl he was meant to. After promising that he would not let his feelings get in the way. So, don’t make such promises yet because life's a bitch that will surprise you when you least expect it to.”

When he asks Connor if he has ever fallen for someone and he is surprised when the dark haired male nods with a smile. Connor tells him the target was so naive and pathetic looking that it had made Connor want to protect him instead. He tells Zero however that his target had quite a feisty personality. When Zero is about to ask whether he had done his job or not, a stranger walks in. The moment the stranger’s face lightens up seeing Connor; Zero puts the pieces of puzzles together.

“Oliver, this is Zero the replacement for Derek. Zero this is Oliver. I will let you adjust comfortably then.”

As they walk away from him, Zero thinks to what he has just been told and shakes his head confidently because like he has told his boss, love is not his thing. He is determined to show that he is different from that weak bastard he is replacing.

 

 

Within just a month, Zero has created a reputation as one of the best in their organisation. He is told by Connor that their rivals have started to give him nicknames like Phantom because when he does his job, Zero makes sure to leave no trace or evidence that could lead the police to them. Zero laughs and tells Connor that he offended to have been bestowed with boring nicknames.

Connor laughs before shoving him gently before reminding the blonde haired male to come and join him and Oliver for dinner. Out of everyone in the organisation, Zero feels the most comfortable with Connor and Oliver. Sometimes he finds it ridiculous that the two males are involved in such a notorious organisation when he sees them being domestic at their home. He notices that Connor never lets Oliver go out in the field and after every mission he makes sure to hug the latter.

" _If something happened to him, I think I would go crazy.”_

_"What if something happens to you?”_

 " _I pray to God every time I leave for a mission to bring me back to him you know. I don’t care if I am hurt just as long as I can return back to him alive and tell him how much I love him then I don’t mind breaking all 206 bones in my body.”_

Zero has never been the one to show emotions simply they require too much effort. Oliver once tells him that maybe that is the reason why Zero hasn’t been in love. Zero had thought about it and thought that Oliver was probably correct.

 

 

Two months into the job, his boss calls him to the office where a overdressed female sitting with an equally overdressed male. He scoffs inside his head because it surprises him to this day how people with money are willing to go to great length and buy anything as long as it branded just so they can flaunt their wealth.

When he sits down, the couple produce a photo of a young male and place it in front of his boss and him. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the jaws of his boss flexing because they both know what the couple are about to say next. He looks at his boss but it seems the man has no intention of talking and Zero thinks he knows why. So he does the talking with the couple instead. They tell him that the boy in the photo is their son and that makes Zero’s eyebrows rise halfway.

“Kill him.”

Zero steals a glance at the man sitting beside him and finds him staring at the photo of the couple’s son with a stiff expression. He turns to the couple and asks them why they want their son killed. Now he is someone that hardly gets surprised but he supposes there is always a first for everything. As he listens to the cold words that are coming out from their lips he can’t help but think how human beings are the real monsters.

“Let’s just say he is an obstacle and leave it at that. I hope you do your job properly. You must get rid of him no matter what.”

As they leave, Zero thinks maybe he has found people worse than his kind. He knows he is no angel but today he seen that blood may not be as thick as people make it out to be. They hadn’t even bothered referring to the boy as a human instead calling him a thing.

“I’m leaving this job to you. You said that you wanted to prove to me that you weren’t weak like us so, this is your chance. Oliver will tell give you the information on the target.”

As Bokuto, their boss starts walking away; Zero voices a question that has been itching his conscious since the day Connor had told the story.

“Why didn’t you just kill him? You clearly had no trouble killing other people?”

“I fell in love with him and I didn’t realise it until the end. I think by making me fall in love with him, life was getting back at me for taking all those lives. I was considered invincible back then and I myself thought the same. Life is a complicated thing. You never know when it’s gonna bite you in the ass so, you always have to have your guard up. I let my guard down. That’s why I always tell you guys to not fall in love but some of you do not listen and let your confidence get in the way like I did.”

“If you loved him then why didn’t you tell him about your true intentions? Or help him?”

“I was a mercenary who took lives. A monster. It didn’t matter if my heart longed for him. Besides even if I did help him escape, he would have eventually been found out and killed.”

Just as the man is about to exit, Zero speaks quietly but loud enough for the man to hear.

“He may or he may not have been found out. You didn’t even try yet you still say you loved him. You are full of shit aren’t you?”

Bokuto turns around to face him and for the first time, their boss has a look full of pain and regret.

“Maybe I should I have tried to help him and who knows maybe things would have turned out differently."

 

 

It’s three days after the meeting with the couple when Oliver finally comes over to his apartment with the information. As the male enters his apartment for the first time, he whistles as he admires the surrounding and smirks at Zero who shakes his head.

“I guess this work does pay you guys enough to live comfortably.”

Zero points out that he and Connor live in a fucking 6 bedroom house on a _suburb_. Oliver chuckles before winking and blowing him a kiss.

Oliver passes him a folder containing all the information he needs to know about the boy.

“He’s called Jude Kinkade. He turned 24 this year. He has been living separately from his parents and has maids who look after him. From the information I’ve collected his birth was never announced so the public don’t know about his existence. He seems to have a younger brother who the parents are keen to push into the spotlight and maybe take over the family business. His parents are insisting that you go undercover as his friend or something and await orders from them.”

Oliver looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. Zero doesn’t ask because he knows if Oliver isn’t telling him something, it’s because the male wants Zero to find it out by himself.

They sit in silence as Oliver drinks his coffee and Zero carelessly flips through the information.

“Bokuto is worried about you.”

Zero stays quiet whilst Oliver sips his coffee before speaking again.

“He trusts you even though you are quite new. This is the first time he has trusted a new comer so quickly. I think it’s because you remind him of his old self and he is worried that you might let your feelings get in the way. Did you know he is only 35 years old? I mean everyone talked about what a legend he was so, I just assumed that he would be an old saggy man of around 70 when I first joined the gang.”

Zero chuckles before something draws in his mind.

“Hey, I know you were Connor’s target and you two ended up together. But how in the world did you end up being involved in a dirty business like this?”

Oliver shakes his head with a soft smile and tells him that is a story for another day but all he needs know is that Oliver was exactly an ideal citizen and that he had his fair share of fun games here and there occasionally.

 

 

That night Zero sits in his couch and opens up the information booklet that Oliver gave him. He sees that the Jude’s family are one of families who are really off and have put their hands on all kinds of business with their newest venture being in basketball. _The Devils_ might be new on the court but they are certainly leaving an impression on everyone. He learns that the male has never attended school and was home schooled instead but that was stopped half way. His younger brother is currently studying in Australia and will take over the family business after he finishes his education. He looks at the photo and see that the guy is quite attractive with an aura of innocence.

“Jude Kinkade. See you soon then.”

 

 

Zero finds himself being surprised for the second time in his life and realises what Oliver had wanted to say. The man stares at him but he eyes seem to look right through him as if Zero isn’t there. They seem to be unfocused and slightly glazed and Zero can’t help but feel sorry for this man.

_He’s blind._

“Garret Senn you say? I don’t recall anyone by that name sorry but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Call me Zero. Everyone calls me that. We were friends quite a while back ago and I moved away when I was just five so, that’s probably why you don’t remember me. Besides you’re two years younger than me so you would have been only three.”

“Oh that’s probably why. I hope you won’t get too offended. Sorry how did we even become friends because I was homeschooled.”

“Oh our families were neighbours. Our families kept in touch even after we moved and I was back in town so, I thought I would stop by and see how you were.”

It seems that Jude had believed his poorly made up lie about them being childhood friends who lost contact after Zero moved away. He asks Jude why he has been living away from his parents when he is blind and needs care. Jude doesn’t answer him but Zero knows the male will eventually tell him.

 

 

“My parents are ashamed of me and always have been. Their oldest son who was supposed to inherit the business was born blind. So, they lied about having only one child and hid me away I guess. Your family might be only people who knows that I exist other than those involved with my care. I guess they got frustrated with seeing me every day so they brought me this place and I’ve been living or should I say hiding here since I was twelve. I was just a burden to them. An abomination.”

 Zero glances at the boy who is staring ahead with empty eyes. He has been coming over to meet the boy for the past two weeks and he still doesn’t know what to make of him.

“You know I fell down the stairs back home when I was ten. I was almost paralysed because I hit my skull on the edge. At the hospital they never came to visit me. My younger brother didn’t come either. No relatives came over because they don’t know I exist. No friends came over because I didn’t have any during that time. It seems that you were my only friend. I should have been happy that I managed to escape with only a few broken bones but I wished I had died instead.”

 

 

It’s another week before Zero decides to ask Jude why he isn’t glad that he survived. Jude simply smiles whilst fiddling with his fingers.

“There is nothing for me to be happy about. I need taking care of like a baby because I can’t do anything on my own. If I get left alone I break things. My own parents don’t want anything to do with me. My younger brother got sent abroad because my parents said he shouldn’t be associating with a defective things like me.”

Zero wants to say something comforting but he doesn’t know what to say and he can’t remember the last time he actually comforted a person. So, he stays silent and it seems Jude is fine with the silence.

“My grandmother died a week after I was discharged from the hospital but I wasn’t allowed to go to her funeral. Then a year later my grandfather died and again I wasn’t allowed to go his funeral. They were the only people who loved me and fought for me. I wasn’t given a chance to honour the very two people who acknowledged my existence and didn’t treat me like an outcast. I wasn’t allowed to say goodbye to the two people who made me feel like I wasn’t a mistake. I wasn’t allowed to wish my own grandparents goodbye. You must be shocked huh? My parents probably aren’t how you remembered them to be in reality.”

Jude starts to get up and Zero moves forward to help him to his room. When they reach the room, Zero slowly leads the boy to his chair by the window and gets a soft thank you from the latter.

“I’m sorry.”

Jude chuckles and tells Zero that he has nothing to be sorry about. He tells him that he will manage and he is glad that Zero has been keeping him company these past weeks.

 

 

Connor and Oliver come around for dinner even though Zero hasn’t invited them. To compensate for intruding, Connor offers to make Zero’s favourite dish. Oliver plops down on Zero’s sofa and puts his legs on Zero’s lap who gives him a dirty look for breaking his concentration.

“What is the target like?”

“Messed up as fuck. You know he told me he wished he was dead when he fell from the stairs.”

Zero looks up as Connor joins them in the living room.

“Your mouth says something but you heart will usually say something else. So, the chances are that he is glad he survived.”

“I pity the boy. From the day he was born he was shunned out by his own parents and his own relatives aren’t aware of his existence. Can you blame him for wishing he was dead? His parents are probably doing him a favour by hiring you to end his life. But tell me how do _you_ find Jude?”

Oliver emphasises the word you but Zero has no answer and Oliver doesn’t press further. The three males make their way to the dining room for dinner. That night as Zero lies in his bed he thinks about Oliver’s question and finds himself being frustrated for having no answer.

 

 

Zero doesn’t know what he is exactly thinking when he drags a startled Jude from the condo ignoring the protests from the maids and pushes him gently into the passenger seat of his car. When Jude asks him softly where they are going Zero doesn’t answer but simply tells the male not to panic. Zero opens the window and from the corner of his eyes he spies Jude smiling as the breeze caresses his face and the warmth from the sun kisses his cheeks. If Jude had his eyesight, he would have noticed a slight smile on the assassin’s lips which Zero isn’t himself actually aware of. When they reach their destination Zero grabs Jude’s hands and guides him forward telling the male not to be a chicken. He looks as Jude’s eyes widen as his feet touches the wet sand and Zero mutters a yes when the male hesitantly asks him if they are at the beach. Jude laughs but there are tears at the corner of his eyes and he slowly takes his hand away from Zero’s hold and walks forward. Zero thinks he did a good job for coming towards the end of the beach where they are away from other people. Jude is walking when he trips and just as Zero starts running to help him, the male stands up on his and continues walking. Zero keeps a safe distance to make sure that Jude doesn’t trip over again and is impressed when the male manages to make to the sea without falling over again. Jude laughs and for the first time, Zero senses real happiness in his laugh.

“Thank you for bringing me here Zero.”

“I didn’t bring you here. I just got bored of staying inside the entire time okay.”

Jude laughs again and Zero thinks the male should laugh more.

      1.  ~~ _ _Go to the beach.__~~

 

_"Mr. Senn, if I could have a word with you please?”_

  _Zero follows Jude’s caretaker into a secluded room._

" _I wanted to thank you for keeping Mr. Kinkade company. You are the first friend he has ever had. But that’s not why I wanted to speak to you. I have a slight request and if you could carry out then I would be extremely grateful.”_

_Zero nods and the elderly caretaker takes a slip of paper and hands it to him. When Zero  skims his eyes through the list he notices it’s a bucket list._

_“Jude was eight when he made me write this. He told me that although it was unlikely that he would get to complete his bucket list, he still had hope that one day he would be able to cross out at least few of the things. I want to help him complete his bucket list but you are far younger and energetic than me. So, the only way I can help him is by requesting this to you. I’ve taken care of him since he was five and he is like my own son so, please if you could do this for me.”_

_Zero looks at the lady who puts her shaky hands on his own and nods telling the caretaker not to worry. The elderly woman smiles and pats his cheek before walking out of the room to help Jude._

 

 

Connor notices it first before Zero does.

“It seems like you are enjoying Jude’s company.”

“Not enjoying but tolerating until I get the call to finish him off.”

“So, why are you putting so much effort in helping him complete his bucket list? And you spend an awful lot of time with him these days.”

Zero frowns before glancing at Connor and going back to reading the book in his hand.

“Well, I thought I should at least help him live the last few days of his life happily. And I’m not spending an awful lot of time with him Connor.”

“Are you sure that you will be able to hold your emotions Zero?”

Zero scoffs and asks Connor what the hell is he implying but gets a shrug in return. As the raven haired male walks out, the blonde male frowns again trying to understand what his friend meant.

 

 

     78.  ~~ _Play the piano._~~

Zero sighs as Jude presses random keys on the piano and wonders why the male even put that in his bucket list. The list seems to getting more ridiculous. A loud noise from the piano breaks his thought and he thinks it’s time to intervene so, he walks forward and takes a seat next to the smiling male and takes his hands in his own to guide them across the grand piano.

“You’re worse than I thought.”

“Hey, I’m blind so I should be excused.”

Zero shakes his head at the pathetic excuse and continues guiding the male’s hands across the keys with his own. Slowly he removes his hands but Jude seems to have gotten a hang of where the appropriate keys are and they are consumed by the soft melody that is emitting from the keys of the grand piano. As they return back to Jude’s condo, he thanks Zero again.

“You know the things we have been doing for the past few weeks are exactly what I wrote in my bucket list when I was young. What a wonderful coincidence don’t you think?”

Zero scoffs and tells Jude that bucket lists are stupid earning a pout from the younger male who calls him boring and plain. Zero threatens by saying he won’t take Jude out again which leads to the male quickly apologising and they end up chuckling together. It’s when Jude says goodbye to him that Zero notices a slight thump in his heart and he thinks he doesn’t like it.

 

 

“Bokuto, why the hell are Jude’s parents delaying this mission so much?”

“I don’t know to be honest. Why is something wrong?”

Zero tells the older man that he has been wasting his time when he could have already finished Jude off and completed so many other missions. Bokuto stares at him with eyes that seem to know something Zero doesn’t.

“Zero, how are you finding the mission? The boy?”

“Not you as well. What the fuck are you people trying to say? That I can’t handle this mission?”

Bokuto doesn’t reply back and Zero storms out knocking the table on the way in anger.

 

 

By the time they are towards of the end of the bucket list, three months have already passed. Oliver comments on how close Zero and Jude have become, which Zero denies with a scoff and says that it is all a part of the mission. Oliver and Connor only reply by glancing as each other each time before looking at the blonde male with a knowing look. Zero notices how he looks forward to going to Jude’s condo and spending time with the boy who seems to be very cheerful these days. The maids and the elderly caretaker thank Zero for making the younger boy smile and although Zero says it’s nothing, inside he pats himself for being the only one to make Jude come out of his shell.

Slowly, Zero starts to realise that that his heart beats faster when he is with Jude and that when their skin come in contact, he feels electricity pass through his body. He starts to notice that Connor and Oliver are right about him spending more time with the younger male. He starts to look forward to seeing Jude’s eager face as the younger boy waits for Zero to come and take him somewhere. He starts to notice how he stays up till late at night just thinking about the said male and how he has started dreaming about him too. He starts to notice how he has been giving in so easily when the younger male asks him for something.

Zero starts to notice the features on the younger’s face and how he pays attention to each detail. He starts to notice how big and innocent looking the boy’s eyes are and how they make him look much younger than he already is. He starts to notice how Jude’s lips curve when the latter smiles or laughs and how they curve down when he is upset or annoyed.

Zero starts to notice how protective he has started to feel about the male and how he glares at the public when they realise that Jude’s is blind and give him dirty looks. Zero starts to notice how he holds the younger closely to him when they happen to cross the road after Jude almost got hit by a vehicle two weeks ago. Zero notes how he had felt his breath hitch when he realised he had almost lost the younger male.

But Zero also starts to notice how Jude seems to be more affectionate towards him. And how Jude always seems to want to lace their fingers together which Zero hasn’t been complaining about. He starts to notice how cuddle the younger male has become and how he sighs in content when Zero lets him nuzzle into the elder’s chest.

Zero slowly starts to realise what is happening and this scares him. He starts to realise that he is starting to fall for the younger just as the younger is starting to fall for him.

Zero realises in horror that he is becoming just like the weak bastards in the organisation and that Jude is ruining his mission.

 

 

“I contacted Jude’s parents about why they are delaying the mission and it seems like they want to wait until his younger brother comes home next month. Apparently his younger brother wants to see Jude.”

Zero nods absently and is about to walk out when Bokuto invites him to dinner. They arrive at a little corner shop in the night market where the owner greets Bokuto with a warm hug and says it has been so long since she has seen him. She then ushers them to an empty table and proceeds to fill their table with foods.

“This was Kuroo’s favourite shop. I haven’t come here since his death but it seems the place and the food are still the same.”

“Zero, tell me honestly are you going to be able to complete this mission successfully like you always have?”

“I thought I would but these past few days it seems like it’s not going to be simple as I thought. Tell me what I should do Bokuto.”

Zero painfully looks at his boss.

“The only thing I can tell you is to follow your heart Zero.”

“I am falling for him. I am becoming a weak love sick bastard like you guys. I am confused.”

“I know. Oliver told me that you were even spending your free time with Jude. Connor and Oliver are worried for you. They asked me to help you but I’m not sure how I can help you.”

“You were right. Life is a complicated thing and when you least expect it, it becomes a bitch. I messed up.”

“You didn’t mess up. You just fell in love and that is a completely natural. No one is blaming you?”

The next few minutes are filled with noises of them clanking their cutleries against the china plates.

“Run away with him Zero. We will help you relocate to a place where no one will find you.”

Zero looks incredulously at the older male in front of him and asks him why.

“Years ago I had the chance to run away with Kuroo and help him escape a fate that he didn’t deserve but I let my confidence take over and stayed behind thinking that I could make it all work out. I was a coward and because of me someone innocent lost their life. Someone who was very important to me until it was too late. But now you have the chance and I want you to use it rather than throwing it away like I did. So, run away with him Zero. Run away and start a new life. I will help support you two.”

“I’m a mercenary and never have I run away from my missions. I don’t plan on doing that anyime soon.”

Bokuto looks at him in astonishment before his expression becomes one that of pain and confusion before he extends his hand and pats Zero’s arms.

“I cannot force you to change your mind but I will remind you that the organisation are going to be there to help you. Also, that you should think about my offer once more.”

When the two male return to the hideout, Bokuto turns around before he enters his office again.

“You should tell that boy about your feelings before it’s too late.

 

 

90 _. ~~Go bungee jumping.~~_

Zero warns Jude that if the younger holds him too tight he will let go of him making the younger pout and loosen his hold on Zero’s neck. Zero bumps his nose gently onto Jude’s nose and tells the boy not to worry because Zero won’t let go of him.

“Besides you’re blind so you won’t see anything.”

The moment Zero says that he regrets it because he is an asshole who doesn’t thinking before speaking. When he says sorry, the younger chuckles and tells him not to be sorry.

“You treat me like any ordinary person and I like it.”

When they jump down, Zero feels the wind rushing down and Jude is laughing. The younger’s laugh rings in his ear and Zero thinks it is a beautiful sound. When they reach the end and the rope tugs abruptly on them Jude gasps and tightens his hold on Zero who in turn pulls the male closer to him.

“You’re safe. I will always be here to protect you.”

If only Jude knew the irony behind the elder’s words.

 

 

Zero enters their hideout when Lev a recent new comer greets him and together they make their way inside. Zero had been in charge of training the boy when he first arrived and he feels proud whenever the young male comes to him to inform him about how he completed his mission without a hitch.

“ _Aniki_ , Jude’s parents have been quite edgy these past few days it seems. They were here to see boss yesterday after you left. Whatever they came for, they looked worried.”

Zero pats the boy on the back before making his way to the Bokuto’s office where Oliver is sitting on the sofa with Connor. He greets them before making his way to Bokuto.

“Lev said Jude’s parents were here yesterday.”

Bokuto motions Zero to take a seat with his two friends and joins them.

“They told me that they wanted Jude dead by the end of next week.”

Zero frowns.

“But I thought they were going to wait until his younger brother returned from Australia.”

“They were but it seems someone in the media got a scoop about them having a hidden son. They’re worried that if their secret gets exposed, then they will lose their biggest partnership.”

“But why do they care if Jude is found out. How the fuck is that going to affect their business?”

“Long story short, it seems Jude’s grandparents re-wrote their will stating that Jude was the eligible heir and that the family inheritance share include Jude too. A reporter somehow found out about the will and put out an article asking who Jude Kinkade was. They managed to get the article down but of course you know how everything remains when it comes to the internet. So they are pretty adamant that the job get done as soon as possible.”

Zero nods before getting up to leave and no one stops him.

“He seems intent on killing the boy boss seeing as he still hasn’t taken on your offer.”

 

 

Jude it seems has just finished his breakfast when Zero walks into the condo with the spare key that was given to him by one of the maids. The elderly caretaker smiles at the sight of Zero and pats him on the head when he offers to take over.

“Zero is that you?”

Zeros hums softly before dragging the younger by his wrist towards the door of his condo. Jude asks him why he is early today and Zero replies by saying he missed him. Jude chuckles but Zero notices the light shade of pink appear on his face. When Zero has helped the male into the passenger seat, he questions about their destination.

“I am in the mood of sightseeing in the countryside and I thought I would drag you with me too.”

He sees how the male’s face lightens up at the word countryside and tries to calm him racing heart. It takes about two hours before the two males arrive to the countryside and Zero feels all his worries leave him because he has never realised how pretty the countryside would be. From the boot of his car, he takes out a picnic box filled with lunch packed in the courtesy of Oliver and Connor. After he has set up everything, he asks if Jude wants to go touch the flowers and the grass and gets an eager nod in return.

It takes Zero all his effort to stop Jude from running around in the open space and make him sit for lunch. Zero huffs in irritation because taking care of the younger male is exhausting. Jude whines about wanting to run around again and Zero tells him if he falls into an unknown ditch then he won’t be helping Jude at all.

“Open your mouth wide.”

Jude obeys the older male who puts a spoonful of fried rice. He hands Jude a piece of cucumber and tells him to eat it slowly. Jude tells him that he is acting like a mother which leads Zero to softly smack the boy on the head with the spoon he is holding. After they finish the lunch, Zero stays back while Jude goes around running again. Zero looks at how carefree and relaxed the boy looks and feels his heart tug when he thinks of how much suffering the boy has endured. He thinks how different the male’s life would have been had the male not been born blind. But he also feels happy that the male was born blind because if he hadn’t then they would have never met in the first place.

After about an hour Zero gets up and brings the excited male back to their place and helps him to sit down for snacks. Jude is flushed and pink from running around but he is smiling so widely that Zero thinks his cheek will split. Zero opens the box of freshly cut strawberries and plops one piece into Jude’s mouth before putting one in his own mouth. After the strawberries are gone, he opens the chocolate and again repeats the same process of feeding Jude first and him all over again. When the chocolates are also gone, Jude falls back whining about how tired he feels earning a scoff from Zero who tells him it is his fault in the first place.

“If you hadn’t gone around running around like a wild animal then you would still have some energy left.”

Jude turns towards the voice and sticks his tongue out before saying how boring Zero is. Zero is about to retort back when he stops at the sight of Jude running his tongue across his lower lips to rehydrate them. Before he knows it Zero is leaning forward and pressing his own lips softly on Jude’s pink ones.

Jude tastes sweet with a hint of strawberries and chocolate that they have just gobbled up. Zero closes his eyes and he takes in the sweet and addicting taste that is Jude. The sun ray gently touches them as they are engrossed in the kiss.

When they finally return back to the city, they are both silent as Zero pulls Jude to his condo. After taking Jude inside Zero swiftly leans down to press another kiss on the male’s lips.

“I will see you later. Eat your dinner well and go to sleep early.”

“Okay. Thanks for today. I had lots of fun.”

Zero ruffles his hair and walks back to his car and takes a worn out paper with lots of writings and crossing out and takes a pen out to add another cross.

97 _. ~~Go to the countryside~~_

 

 

“I kissed him.”

Oliver stops typing and looks at him for a while before going back to his laptop. Zero keeps his eye on the book he has been planning to finish for some time.

“What will you do now?”

Zero doesn’t speak and Oliver shakes his head before going to sit next to the male.

“Zero, listen to Bokuto. We are only humans and sometimes we fail for a reason.”

“Humans? Oliver, we kill people for a living. Sometimes these people are innocent and have done nothing wrong.”

Oliver remains silent as he observes the blonde male before letting out a soft laugh.

“You’ve changed. You never cared if they were innocent or at fault.”

“I could walk out of there and kill someone who is not Jude even though they might be innocent. I have not changed unless it involves him.”

“But you have though because you have fallen in love with Jude and you are realising that some of those dead people never deserved to die in the first place. You may have not cared about the people in the past, but you care about Jude. Zero, take this chance.”

“I’ve never left my mission incomplete like I said before.”

“You are a fucking idiot you know that?”

Oliver takes a deep sigh and he rubs his temple and leans on Zero’s shoulder.

 

 

Zero is about to enter Jude’s condo when he hears his name being called and he turns around to face Jude’s mother.

“Here to visit Jude perhaps?”

“No. I’m here to see if Bokuto has informed you about the change in schedule.”

Zero curtly nods and wishes that the lady would just go away because he is tired as fuck and wants to just go to sleep.

“My husband and I have paid a lot of money so, I hope you will do your job properly and get rid of Jude by the end of this week.”

“I have never failed in my mission so, you don’t need to tell me how to do my job.”

The woman glares at him but Zero remains unfazed and walks in without saying anything to her. When he goes in, he sees Jude sitting in the sofa waiting for him. He pulls the younger and leads the way to the male’s bedroom and pulls Jude to lie down next to him. When the males falls next to him, he wraps his arms around Jude who buries his face in Zero’s chest.

“Let’s not go out today. I’m tired and I just wanna sleep.”

Jude nods and cuddles into Zero’s embrace more.

     98 _. ~~Spend a whole day in bed.~~_

 

 

It’s raining when Zero walks into Jude’s condo with bags in his hands and pulls Jude abruptly announcing that they are going to be making cookies. Zero stands beside Jude as he guides Jude’s hand to prepare the ingredients. After putting the cookie mixture into the preheated oven, Zero plans to clean up however, that plan is ruined because they end up having a fight with the flour. Zero laughs at the younger male who cannot aim perfectly causing Jude to whine how this fight isn’t fair at all. Suddenly, Zero pulls the younger towards him and puts his head on the younger’s shoulder. He leans back when he feels wetness seeping into his shirt and is startled to see tears in Jude’s eyes.

“What’s wrong Jude?”

“Nothing. I’m just really happy.”

Zero feels a sharp pain in his chest as he looks at the tears running down the younger’s cheek and call him insensitive but he thinks the male look absolutely breathtaking.

“Zero, can I touch your face please? I want to know what you look like.”

Zero brings the boy’s hands up gently to his face and places them on his face and for the next half an hour Jude lets his hands explore each detail on the elder’s face. When he is finally done, Jude slowly drops his hands and smiles widely and although the tears have dried up, the boy’s eyes are swollen and red.

“You’re beautiful just like I imagined.”

“No, you’re the one that is beautiful Jude.”

They both laugh as they start to banter about who is more beautiful forgetting that they have to keep an eye on the cookies and clean up the mess they have created.

     99 _. ~~Bake cookies.~~_

 

 

“ _Aniki_ , are you really not going to consider boss’ offer?”

Zero ruffles Lev’s hair as he walks out without replying to the younger male who frowns.

“ _Aniki_ , it doesn’t have to end this way you know. It’s okay to be a weak bastard sometimes.”

Zero doesn’t turn around as he walks away with a sad smile.

“It was mean to end this way Lev. You don’t understand what a monster I am.”

 

 

“Thanks for the dinner tonight, Zero.”

Zero tells the boy not to worry and helps him to get changed into something comfortable before pulling the male to lie in the bed and wraps the younger in an embrace.

“Zero? I’m really glad that you came into my life because I’ve truly enjoyed these past few months with you that if I were to die right now I would with regrets.”

Zero swallows thickly before pulling the male closer to him and presses light kisses on the male’s forehead.

“Zero?”

“Hmm?”

“Do it.”

Zero frowns before leaning back to stare at Jude’s smiling face and asks the younger do what.

“Go on. Kill me.”

Zero feels his eyes widen as his hold on the male loosens before speaking shakily.

“H-How did you know?”

“I heard you and mother talking at the start of this week.”

Zero feels his chest contracting and finds it harder to breathe. He gets up and stares at Jude who is still lying and smiling. Lifting his hands he gently guides the younger’s face towards him and caresses it. Before he knows it, tears are falling from his face onto Jude who looks surprised.

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry Zero.”

Zero sobs as he mutters out strings of _I’m sorry_ and _forgive me_ and Jude tells him not to be sorry because he hasn’t done anything wrong in the first place.

“You know I was miserable before you came. I was a prisoner in my own house and my own parents refused to acknowledge my existence so I thought I was worthless. But people like my grandparents, nanny and you came and reminded that I mean something to people even though I have no use. You helped me see things through different ways and you taught me how to live again. Because of you I learned how to love. So, Garret, don’t be sorry. You gave me my life back.”

Zero bites back anther sob because he thinks it’s fucking ironic that he would be taking that life back again.

Through his teary eyes, Zero sees tears flowing from Jude’s face and curses internally for making the male cry. He leans down and kisses the male’s eyes by pressing kisses on his eyes. From the eyes he moves towards the nose, forehead, cheeks, nose and finally the lips.

Jude tastes sweet and addicting just like during their first kiss. The two males kiss in the soft moonlight that seems to be spying at them through the windows. Their tears are mixing and their breaths are getting tangled together as they desperately try to convey all their feelings and apologies through the kiss.

“I’m sorry Jude.”

“It’s okay Zero. Don’t be afraid. I am here.”

“It’s Gideon. My real name is Gideon not Garret.”

Jude smiles.

“Gideon. It’s a pretty name. My Gideon who gave me the world back.”

Zero lets out a strangled cry as he connects his lips to Jude’s who wraps his arms around his neck. Slowly, Zero brings his hands and wraps around the younger’s neck and starts to squeeze preventing air from reaching the younger male. His heart breaks when he hears raspy breaths escaping the younger male and the arms around his neck starting to lose their grips. He squeezes harder as he feels the thin neck beneath his hands. As the male underneath him gives up breathing slowly he smiles sadly with fresh tears pouring down his face.

“Gideon, thank you for everything. I love you.”

“And I love you Jude.”

Jude smiles and lets out one last breath before he goes limp. The arms that are loosely wrapped around Zero’s neck finally drop limply to the younger’s side. Zero finally releases his hands from the neck and leans back to stare at the male who he had fallen in love with.

Jude looks beautiful even now with his eyes closed and tear tracks on his soft baby skin. His lips are puckered and pink from the recent kiss they shared. It looks like he has just fallen asleep after a long day.

Zero breaks down letting his mournful sobs fill the room and the condo. He sobs like a baby for the first time in life. With shaky hands he lifts the boy’s head and cradles it like a mother would to her child and screams. Zero screams Jude’s name and screams at the male to wake and return to him. He sobs more when he realises that the younger isn’t coming back and that he has just killed the one person he loved.

     100. ~~ _Say I love you to that one special person._~~

 

 

By the time Zero returns to his apartment after destroying all the evidence, it’s five in the morning but Zero isn’t tired at all. He dials a number on his phone and after a few rings a scratchy voice answers.

“Connor, I killed him. I killed Jude. I don’t know what to do.”

Connor remains silent for some time before instructing Zero to clean up and go to bed. He tells the male not to come to work for few more days and try to recover instead.

“He is gone Connor.”

Connor speaks to him as if he is baby but Zero doesn’t care and he requests Connor to stay on the line until he falls asleep. Connor tells Zero that he will always be here.

Over the next few days, Zero stays in bed without eating unless Oliver and Connor come and nag at him to eat. He doesn’t cry nor does he speak because he feels dead and has no energy left to do anything. Other members from the organisation come over to cheer him up but Zero remains quiet.

 

 

Bokuto walks into his house and sees a voicemail from Zero.

  _Bokuto,_

_I called your house today so, I could come visit but it seems that you were at the hideout so, I am sending you this voicemail instead._

_I killed Jude._

_I completed my mission yet I feel so dead. I don’t understand Bokuto. I have killed many people before despite numerous of them being innocent yet I felt nothing for them. But now I feel so numb and dead. I’m tired Bokuto. I keep seeing his face every day and night._

_Jude told me he heard me talking to his mother about killing him by the end of last week. How betrayed must he have felt? How hurt must he have felt when he realised that I was going to kill him at the end of the week?_

_His parents hid him not only from the public but also from his own relatives and told him that he would infect his younger brother with his disease. They treated him like an obstacle. Not a human. To them he was a nuisance. How lonely must he have been growing up? Jude suffered a lot and just when things were starting to look better, I destroyed it all. I must have hurt him a lot. But you know he said I didn’t have to be sorry at all. But that just makes me feel shit._

_I promised you that love was one word not in dictionary and that I would never end up like you guys. I told you that I would never end up being a weak lovesick bastard remember because I don’t do relationships? But it seems I ended up being even worse than you guys. I am the weakest bastard in the world. You guys kept reminding me that I still had a chance to turn things over and live happily with Jude but I didn’t listen. I should have maybe listened but I’m a monster that has killed many people so, I thought it would be all okay at the end. I thought I could handle his death and be able to move on._

_Anyway I made a promise to always protect Jude when we went bungee jumping. That was one of the things on his bucket list you know. And as you know I never break my promises so, I am going to keep my promise to Jude. I have to go keep my Jude company. He must be lonely by himself cause it’s been a while since I last saw him so, I have to go. I have to go and protect him and make him feel safe._

_I’m sorry if I disappointed you Bokuto. You have been like a older brother to me and forgive me for being such a shit person. Will you tell Connor and Oliver that they better stay together forever and I love them? Tell them I’m grateful to them for reaching out to me when I first arrived here. Will you tell Lev that I am very proud of him and that I want him to keep practicing and beat my record? Will you tell Jude’s nanny that I’m sorry I couldn’t help Jude? Will you tell the other guys that I’m happy to have spent time with them? Will you tell everyone that I’m sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye?_

_I must go now. My Jude is probably waiting for me. Maybe in next life we all will be reborn together and that everything will go right for us. Actually I do want us all to be born together, doing something else though. Not this killing shit. It’s fucking depressing. Maybe you can open a coffee shop and we will all work for you. That sounds nice._

_Once again I’m thankful to you for taking me in and helping me. Bokuto, you are stronger than I thought for making it this far. I hope you keep going and find someone new. You deserve it. And I will find Kuroo and tell him how much you loved him and that you are sorry for not coming to meet him just yet. But to be honest I don’t even know what he looks like. Maybe they have like attendance roll. I will find him somehow don’t you worry boss._

_I really need to go now Bokuto._

_Before I go, will you lay me down next to Jude. You will promise me right? That is my final request._

_Good bye Bokuto._

_Thank you for everything._

“Good bye Zero.”

 

 

Connor and Oliver find Zero dead in the kitchen with a gunshot to his head. Oliver covers his lips with shaky hands and hides in Connor’s embrace. Lev sobs as he looks at the lifeless body of his _aniki_ before Bokuto drags the young male away.

Bokuto orders his men to bury Zero next to his beloved Jude just as Zero had requested.

_You are together now with Jude. Remain by his side and protect him. We will all meet again in next life and just like you said everything will be okay._

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry I don't even know how this happened. Forgive me. I wanted to give them a happy ending unlike in the original fic but yeah here we are. I may write an alternative ending if you guys would be interested...?
> 
> Aniki (兄貴), a Japanese honorable term for an older brother or a superior.
> 
> Lev uses the Japanese term "Aniki" because his character is Half Russian and Half Japanese in Haikyuu!! which I totally recommend to everyone.


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